Weird, I haven't blogged in so long. I used to love it. It's weird how that there are times that seem to pass so quickly, yet other times it just doesn't seem to go fast enough.
A lot has changed with me surprisingly I've found out who my true friends are, and who I can really rely on, and who I can't.
I've adopted a new saying.. "Think yourself happy" I seriously try to live by this to the best of my ability. What's the point of being down and depressed? Why should I let things get to me? Especially when I have no control over the circumstances, or the outcome. I've come to a point where I just really don't care. I don't care what people think of me, I don't care about petty drama that people like to start.
I'm me... and if people can't except me for who I am, then I don't need them in my life. Same goes for people who try to demean me, and make me feel like I'm not worthwhile... Well they're not worth my time.
-Tracey :D
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
I promise I'm not emo
Wow, it's been quite awhile since I have blogged, so much for my "blogging everyday" just something else I obviously fail at.
Well I suppose I do have a few good excuses, but that's not really going to get me anywhere. I did start school. It was definitely a lot harder than I had anticipated, I'm glad now I only took two classes. I don't know what I would do if I had 4.
Last night was fun, granted I don't think I am ever going to drink again. I really hate the way it makes people act, and myself for that matter. I guess I really don't like feeling like I'm not in control. Not to mention I think I totally messed things up with Davide for real. Apparently Tracey + Alcohol = total bitch. I would call him to apologize for not listening to him, and bitching at him but he's at a friends house, where he doesn't get service. So I did the next best thing I sent him an e-mail. I just hope he doesn't hate me.
I've also been really neglecting church, not entirely sure why. It could just be that I'm burnt out on hearing the same old thing, for the 900th time. But lately I've found every excuse not to go. Whether I'm "sick" or I just don't want to get up and get ready because I stayed up to late the night before. I need to get my priorities straight, and make time for God, instead of skipping out on him every Sunday... What's wrong with me?
"They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." ~ Andy Warhol
-Tracey :D
Well I suppose I do have a few good excuses, but that's not really going to get me anywhere. I did start school. It was definitely a lot harder than I had anticipated, I'm glad now I only took two classes. I don't know what I would do if I had 4.
Last night was fun, granted I don't think I am ever going to drink again. I really hate the way it makes people act, and myself for that matter. I guess I really don't like feeling like I'm not in control. Not to mention I think I totally messed things up with Davide for real. Apparently Tracey + Alcohol = total bitch. I would call him to apologize for not listening to him, and bitching at him but he's at a friends house, where he doesn't get service. So I did the next best thing I sent him an e-mail. I just hope he doesn't hate me.
I've also been really neglecting church, not entirely sure why. It could just be that I'm burnt out on hearing the same old thing, for the 900th time. But lately I've found every excuse not to go. Whether I'm "sick" or I just don't want to get up and get ready because I stayed up to late the night before. I need to get my priorities straight, and make time for God, instead of skipping out on him every Sunday... What's wrong with me?
"They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." ~ Andy Warhol
-Tracey :D
Thursday, January 15, 2009
How long will I break til I shatter??
First week of school is finished! I'm so happy, a lot more work than I had originally anticipated. It will all pay off in the end though.
As far as my classes go I only have two this semester, but I'm really happy that I only took two just to ease into things. I have Business Math and Psychology. My math teacher, he is extremely mono-toned and really dull. So in order to stay awake I have taken THE most detailed notes I've ever taken in my life. On the other hand, my psychology class is amazing. The teacher really relates to us and he's really very entertaining. Granted I do a lot of homework with notes and everything, but that's just because I really want to do well.
In the news today, I heard about the plane crash in NYC it was on it's way to North Carolina and apparently it hit a flock of geese. I know I shouldn't laugh but, the circumstance is quite funny. Although it is not certain or has been verified many spectators say that most if not all survived.
Things have definitely been getting better, or at least I like to think so. There are just somedays where I just get really down on myself. I'm sure we all have days like that. A few weeks ago I was feeling like this for like days at a time. I think I found the solution to that, and have corrected the problem. I am much happier, and I feel like people genuinly care for me, and care that I'm actually. I'm not trying to be or soud emo. PINKIE PROMISE. At least things seem to be getting better. And that's all I can really ask for.
If you have ever watched my YouTube channel you will have seen me ranting about the weather. Mainly the fact that is was in the upper 60's and lower 70's. This week all of that changed dramatically. The current temperature is 10 degrees... with a windchill of -2. Even though it's really cold... really really cold. I like this weather. The fact that I can come home sit on the couch with my blanky and some hot chocolate and just watch a movie or TV, that just sounds so enticing. And since the "Snuggie" info-mercials have been airing... evertime I see that, I think I NEED one! I know I don't, and I don't have to urge to look like a monk while trying to relax... I guess in the end it's just the comfort of being safe and warm that always makes me feel better.
"We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness." ~David Weatherford
-Tracey :D
As far as my classes go I only have two this semester, but I'm really happy that I only took two just to ease into things. I have Business Math and Psychology. My math teacher, he is extremely mono-toned and really dull. So in order to stay awake I have taken THE most detailed notes I've ever taken in my life. On the other hand, my psychology class is amazing. The teacher really relates to us and he's really very entertaining. Granted I do a lot of homework with notes and everything, but that's just because I really want to do well.
In the news today, I heard about the plane crash in NYC it was on it's way to North Carolina and apparently it hit a flock of geese. I know I shouldn't laugh but, the circumstance is quite funny. Although it is not certain or has been verified many spectators say that most if not all survived.
Things have definitely been getting better, or at least I like to think so. There are just somedays where I just get really down on myself. I'm sure we all have days like that. A few weeks ago I was feeling like this for like days at a time. I think I found the solution to that, and have corrected the problem. I am much happier, and I feel like people genuinly care for me, and care that I'm actually. I'm not trying to be or soud emo. PINKIE PROMISE. At least things seem to be getting better. And that's all I can really ask for.
If you have ever watched my YouTube channel you will have seen me ranting about the weather. Mainly the fact that is was in the upper 60's and lower 70's. This week all of that changed dramatically. The current temperature is 10 degrees... with a windchill of -2. Even though it's really cold... really really cold. I like this weather. The fact that I can come home sit on the couch with my blanky and some hot chocolate and just watch a movie or TV, that just sounds so enticing. And since the "Snuggie" info-mercials have been airing... evertime I see that, I think I NEED one! I know I don't, and I don't have to urge to look like a monk while trying to relax... I guess in the end it's just the comfort of being safe and warm that always makes me feel better.
"We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness." ~David Weatherford
-Tracey :D
Monday, January 12, 2009
Where Would I End Up?
Well the thing that has been driving me crazy for the past week or so, has finally been solved. We broke up, but for the most part it was mutual. I think we both just rushed into it. I hope things don't end up like super weird between us. When we were "dating" it was more like we were just friends anyway, so hopefully things don't change.
Upcoming things: SCHOOL. I'm super nervous. What if I have gone retarded, and I don't remember how to do anything, luckily my first class Jessie is with me so that will make it a lot better. Since it's Business Mathematics, we can totally help each other. The other class I am taking is Psychology I'm excited about that one, I don't think I'll have too much of a problem with that. I took a Psychology class my senior year and I really enjoyed it.
The past few months I have been questioning not just my religion but religion in general. I do believe there is a God, and Heaven and Hell. So I guess I'm technically questioning how exactly, and what determines where you will eventually end up. I have a really hard time believing that if God as great and as powerful as he is that he would send someone who was a morally good person, someone who never did anything wrong, and was a good person at heart but didn't always attend church, that he would send them into the burning abyss that is hell. I just can't picture that. I guess I have some "soul searching" to do.
Off of my religion soap box.
"If we only have the will to walk, then God is pleased with our stumbles." ~ C S Lewis
-Tracey :D
Upcoming things: SCHOOL. I'm super nervous. What if I have gone retarded, and I don't remember how to do anything, luckily my first class Jessie is with me so that will make it a lot better. Since it's Business Mathematics, we can totally help each other. The other class I am taking is Psychology I'm excited about that one, I don't think I'll have too much of a problem with that. I took a Psychology class my senior year and I really enjoyed it.
The past few months I have been questioning not just my religion but religion in general. I do believe there is a God, and Heaven and Hell. So I guess I'm technically questioning how exactly, and what determines where you will eventually end up. I have a really hard time believing that if God as great and as powerful as he is that he would send someone who was a morally good person, someone who never did anything wrong, and was a good person at heart but didn't always attend church, that he would send them into the burning abyss that is hell. I just can't picture that. I guess I have some "soul searching" to do.
Off of my religion soap box.
"If we only have the will to walk, then God is pleased with our stumbles." ~ C S Lewis
-Tracey :D
Thursday, January 8, 2009
I Get By With A little Help From My Friends
Well these past two days have been pretty much amazing! For once I'm not even being sarcastic.
Tuesday night Jessie and I left to go visit our friend Ellerie, we all graduated together and not to mention she is freaking awesome and she can draw like no other. Ellerie moved away about a year ago. We got there around 9:00 pm. And of course the first thing we did was hug everyone! One of their family friends had also come into town to visit. He showed us (Ellerie, Andy, Jessie, and myself) some wicked awesome dance moves. For your information I am a terrible dancer. I ended up dancing with Ellerie's brother, it wasn't so bad but dancing is definitely not my cup of tea. Wednesday Jessie made Italian meatballs and spaghetti and of course quite possibly the best garlic bread I have had my entire life. That night we played board games, Guitar Hero, Dance Dance Revolution, as well as talked a lot. They really helped to open my eyes about quite a few things that had been bothering me. Of course, I must repeat Ellerie's profound words, "Punch them in the face and tell them to shut the fuck up."
I am glad to be back home though. It was nice, but nothing is better than my own bed, in my own room.
I can't believe I start school on Tuesday, I'm nervous and excited. At least I have Jessie with me in my first class thank goodness!
"I get by with a little help from my friends," ~ John Lennon
-Tracey :D
Tuesday night Jessie and I left to go visit our friend Ellerie, we all graduated together and not to mention she is freaking awesome and she can draw like no other. Ellerie moved away about a year ago. We got there around 9:00 pm. And of course the first thing we did was hug everyone! One of their family friends had also come into town to visit. He showed us (Ellerie, Andy, Jessie, and myself) some wicked awesome dance moves. For your information I am a terrible dancer. I ended up dancing with Ellerie's brother, it wasn't so bad but dancing is definitely not my cup of tea. Wednesday Jessie made Italian meatballs and spaghetti and of course quite possibly the best garlic bread I have had my entire life. That night we played board games, Guitar Hero, Dance Dance Revolution, as well as talked a lot. They really helped to open my eyes about quite a few things that had been bothering me. Of course, I must repeat Ellerie's profound words, "Punch them in the face and tell them to shut the fuck up."
I am glad to be back home though. It was nice, but nothing is better than my own bed, in my own room.
I can't believe I start school on Tuesday, I'm nervous and excited. At least I have Jessie with me in my first class thank goodness!
"I get by with a little help from my friends," ~ John Lennon
-Tracey :D
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Melodramatic??
So I've had somethings on my mind lately, recently about a boy obviously and most of you who may be reading this know what I'm talking about.
So I finally told him last night kind of how I was feeling. I told him that It seemed to me that, the way he was acting, he didn't want to be in this relationship with me. I know that he's been working a lot, and his living situation has changed greatly, but is it to much to ask for like a 5 minute phone call at least, or even a text message: one that he actually replies to? I don't know. Maybe I am just overreacting. I'm not saying I want to be a "Nicki" haha (inside joke) but to be acknowledged would be nice. If you have any advice please leave me a comment, it would be greatly appreciated.
Anyway, now that I've gotten that off my chest. On to something, a little happier, or at least just a change of subject!
So yesterday was fun. I hung out with my bestie, we watched a girly movie, spent some quality time messing with people in a skype conference that was definitely the highlight of my day. Who knew forigen people could be so entertaining. Basically what we did was, We would start chatting with someone, and convince them to call us (via Skype) and we would talk dirty to them, and just mess with them. Then we got my friend April in on the converstation too. We all pretended we were bi-sexuals we would get these guys all riled up and then start asking them if they could have all of us at once, would they be willing to have anal sex with another guy. It was so funny. One guy actually masturbated while on Skype with us... seriously it lasted 30 seconds, it was pathetic. This same guy also sent us two pictures of his penis. I think was either lubed up or he was waxing it with turtle wax becuase it was extremely shiney... and weirdly shiney at that. To make a long story short yesterday was a good day.
"If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough." ~Ann Landers
-Tracey :D
So I finally told him last night kind of how I was feeling. I told him that It seemed to me that, the way he was acting, he didn't want to be in this relationship with me. I know that he's been working a lot, and his living situation has changed greatly, but is it to much to ask for like a 5 minute phone call at least, or even a text message: one that he actually replies to? I don't know. Maybe I am just overreacting. I'm not saying I want to be a "Nicki" haha (inside joke) but to be acknowledged would be nice. If you have any advice please leave me a comment, it would be greatly appreciated.
Anyway, now that I've gotten that off my chest. On to something, a little happier, or at least just a change of subject!
So yesterday was fun. I hung out with my bestie, we watched a girly movie, spent some quality time messing with people in a skype conference that was definitely the highlight of my day. Who knew forigen people could be so entertaining. Basically what we did was, We would start chatting with someone, and convince them to call us (via Skype) and we would talk dirty to them, and just mess with them. Then we got my friend April in on the converstation too. We all pretended we were bi-sexuals we would get these guys all riled up and then start asking them if they could have all of us at once, would they be willing to have anal sex with another guy. It was so funny. One guy actually masturbated while on Skype with us... seriously it lasted 30 seconds, it was pathetic. This same guy also sent us two pictures of his penis. I think was either lubed up or he was waxing it with turtle wax becuase it was extremely shiney... and weirdly shiney at that. To make a long story short yesterday was a good day.
"If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough." ~Ann Landers
-Tracey :D
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Sunday Sunday Sunday
Ughh... I woke up this morning and I felt like crap. Well I still do feel really crappy. I'm tired, my throat hurts, and I'm really achy.
So since I woke up this way of course I didn't go "Kick it with Jesus" as my usual Sunday ritual. But instead spent all day on the couch: reading, watching movies, and TV, and of course my mommy made me soup. How much better could my day get!! Though I do still feel significantly better from this morning so that's good!
I talked to Jessie today... well texted, because lets face it texting is the new language. Everyone uses it, and it's probably not the best way to communicate, especially in relationships, but that's another story I really don't want to get into right now, but texting is extremely convenient and isn't that what our society is made up of. Convenice? Now to get off of my soap box. She wants me to go visit our friend Ellerie this week. We would leave on Monday afternoon, and come back on Wednesday. I'm totally up for it! And I think my mom is actually going to let me go, so WOOT! Hopefully spending this time with Jessie and Ellerie will help me take my mind off of certain problems and things that have been weighing on my mind, or at least help me decide what I should do in this situation.
Although I am happy. :) I posted a YouTube video yesterday ranting about the weather, and how irritated I was because it was 71 degrees outside. I am happy to report that the current temperature is 28 degrees! I'm pretty sure that there is snow possible in the upcoming forcast! I'm definitely keeping my fingers crossed.
"For age is opportunity no less Than youth itself, though in another dress, And as the evening twilight fades away The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day. " ~ Henry Longfellow
-Tracey :D
So since I woke up this way of course I didn't go "Kick it with Jesus" as my usual Sunday ritual. But instead spent all day on the couch: reading, watching movies, and TV, and of course my mommy made me soup. How much better could my day get!! Though I do still feel significantly better from this morning so that's good!
I talked to Jessie today... well texted, because lets face it texting is the new language. Everyone uses it, and it's probably not the best way to communicate, especially in relationships, but that's another story I really don't want to get into right now, but texting is extremely convenient and isn't that what our society is made up of. Convenice? Now to get off of my soap box. She wants me to go visit our friend Ellerie this week. We would leave on Monday afternoon, and come back on Wednesday. I'm totally up for it! And I think my mom is actually going to let me go, so WOOT! Hopefully spending this time with Jessie and Ellerie will help me take my mind off of certain problems and things that have been weighing on my mind, or at least help me decide what I should do in this situation.
Although I am happy. :) I posted a YouTube video yesterday ranting about the weather, and how irritated I was because it was 71 degrees outside. I am happy to report that the current temperature is 28 degrees! I'm pretty sure that there is snow possible in the upcoming forcast! I'm definitely keeping my fingers crossed.
"For age is opportunity no less Than youth itself, though in another dress, And as the evening twilight fades away The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day. " ~ Henry Longfellow
-Tracey :D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
